Becoming A Grandmother: What Surprised Me—and Deepened My Faith

I thought I knew who I was until I became someone’s grandma. Now I’ve found a new piece of me I didn’t know was there. Becoming a grandmother brings questions: What is my role? Am I being helpful? Can I hold the baby now?

Becoming a grandmother brought some delightful surprises, but also some lessons I didn’t expect. God met me in each one, gently teaching me things I didn’t even know I needed to learn.

There were 7 big lessons I learned those first few weeks of grandmahood.

Here they are—just in case you’re on this journey too.

1. Memories come flooding back.

Lessons: God’s faithfulness. The power of prayer. The benefits of casting my cares on Jesus. Forgiveness.

Those itsy-bitsy toes. The tiny little onesies. It took me straight back in time to when I was a new mom. This time, though, I have a different perspective. Fewer worries. More peace.

As I hold my sleeping grandbaby, I can’t help but feel grateful to God for His faithfulness in bringing my family through so much. The obstacles, the decisions I just wasn’t sure about, the money worries. He answered prayer after prayer.

Becoming a grandma showed me God’s goodness. I see now where He was with us. I should have prayed harder and left things in His hands more often than I did. Even so, I know my prayers were answered. My kids grew up to be good people, and I’m sure they will be great parents.

One thing I didn’t expect was so many memories of my bad parenting moments. (Please tell me you’ve had some, too.)  

Holding a newborn makes you vow to make everything perfect for them, but then, being human, you don’t. All you can do is ask God for forgiveness, ask your kids to forgive you, and try to do better going forward. Work to forgive yourself, too. Leave the past in the past.

2. A view of eternity

Lessons: God’s order, Jesus coming as a baby, accountability

No matter how old your grandchildren are, they connect us to the past and the future. While I rock a sleeping baby, I think back to rocking my kids, and my mom rocking me, and her mom rocking her, and her mom rocking her. I am so aware of the generations before me.

I can imagine the generations who will be linked forward, too. That is why I pray for my grandchildren, and their grandchildren, too. I feel like one hand is holding the past, and the other hand is grabbing the future. The amazing thing is that God has planned it all.

It reminds of the song The Blessing. “May His favor be upon you for a thousand generations” Watch it here:

Another thing I think about is how God came to Earth as a small, vulnerable newborn. Dependent on Mary and Joseph for everything. To call it a huge risk seems laughably understated. All I can say is God’s ways are not our ways.

Finally, I think about the Bible stories where everything hinged on the actions of one person. Rahab, Moses,  Esther, Jonah.

What if our grandchildren have those parts to play in this lifetime? I feel accountable to teach them everything I can about God and how to live in His kingdom so they are prepared for their destiny.

On a lighter note…

3. It’s very fun to watch your children and their spouses parent together.

Lessons: Harmony, unity, leadership, tolerance

One of the nicest surprises of becoming a grandma has been watching my children and their spouses step into the parenting role together. There’s something so moving about seeing the ones you raised now carrying little ones of their own.

As I watch them comfort crying babies and chase adventurous toddlers, I see real harmony, not perfection, but a willingness to move in the same direction, even when it wasn’t easy. There is unity in how they back each other up, share the load, and give each other space to grow. I began to realize that leadership in a family doesn’t always look like someone taking charge—it often looks like two people leaning in, listening, and lifting each other up.

And the lesson for me? Tolerance. Parenting practices have changed since I was a mom. Expert advice has evolved, and I had to make room for the new ways. The Lord taught me that love gives space. It steps back, it cheers quietly, and it trusts Him to work in the next generation just as He did in mine. It’s humbling and beautiful all at once.

I don’t have to control or correct; I get to watch, pray, and celebrate the beauty of how He’s shaping my children into competent, loving moms and dads.

4. Babies are for the young.

Lessons: Patience, leaning on the Lord as I age

Here is a fact: the energy I have as a grandma is about half what I had as a mother. I also don’t function well on 4 hours of broken sleep. Babies are for the young.

It’s not just the decrease in stamina; it’s the muscle strength too. After a week, my back ached from leaning over the changing table, and my arms and shoulders hurt from hauling 8 pounds of sweetness out of the bassinette.

You may be disappointed not to be able to do everything you did as a parent to littles, but the upside is you probably feel calmer and more patient. That sets a nice tone for your visits.

Be happy to sit on the couch and snuggle. Enjoying the baby is a valid use of time. (And it gives you time to rest.)

One of the lessons of aging is that we need to trust in the goodness of God’s plan. In this plan, old age is His reward and a blessing. (Not that we’re old, of course. We’re not.)

Psalm 91:16 NKJV

With long life I will satisfy him,
And show him My salvation.

5. Your allegiances are evolving.

Lessons: Humility, service, loyalty, compassion

When my first grandchild was born, I rushed from Colorado to North Carolina to be there because I was a grandma now. We welcomed this new little life with delight

What I had forgotten in the thrill of the new baby was that I was still very loyal to my first “baby”.

I didn’t expect to have mixed feelings about this “bundle of joy” who now causes my child to be anxious and sleep deprived. Part of me will always want to care for my children first, and I am cautious about anything that makes their lives hard.

Of course, new babies are helpless and demanding. That’s just the way it is. New parents are loving and concerned.

So, as a bystander, what do you do?  

You stay humble in the face of this eternal parenting process. You cook and wash dishes. Fold laundry. Do whatever you can to take care of your child. Just like you always have.

And realize that becoming a grandmother doesn’t mean your protective instinct goes away—it just shifts. Your deep-rooted allegiance to your child will grow to include their babies very quickly.

I traveled 1,200 miles to learn this lesson, but now you have it for free.

6. How to take the supporting role gracefully

Lessons: Humility, respect, self-control

Here is the truth: Mom is the boss. She sets the tone, makes the rules, and carries the weight of daily parenting. Well, mom and dad, that is.

My job is to respect the boundaries and follow directions, even if I would do things differently.

This takes humility—because I do have valuable experience, but love knows when to step back. It’s their turn to parent, now. Grandparenting has stretched me to practice self-control in ways I didn’t expect, especially when my instinct is to step in with advice or a “back in my day” story.

Through it all, God has been gently reminding me that respect builds trust, and trust opens doors. When I honor my child and their spouse as the leaders of their home, I’m building a relationship that allows me to stay close—not just to the grandkids, but to the whole family. And that kind of closeness, built on grace and mutual respect, is a gift worth guarding.

You are no doubt thinking about your grandma name. This post here has some good ideas: Guide to grandparent names

7. Speaking Encouragement

Lessons: Optimism, perspective, wisdom

You can read all the baby books you want, but there’s nothing like your mom nodding approval that makes you sure you’re taking care of the baby correctly.

Encouragement is a good way to use that grandmotherly wisdom and perspective. Point out ways in which your kids are doing well as parents. Point out how the baby prefers them to all others. Use your wisdom to build their confidence as parents.

When tired parents are in the thick of it, dose them with optimism. Remind them it won’t be like this forever. I like to entertain new parents with stories of mistakes I made as a new mother, so they can smile, and remember nobody is perfect.

Becoming a grandma has been one of the best chapters of my life. Each step along the way—whether humbling, heartwarming, or hilarious—has been God’s way of shaping me into someone new.

God is always at work, even in the shifting roles and changing seasons. He’s not finished writing our family story—and what a joy it is to be part of it, one sweet surprise at a time.

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More Posts for New Grandmas:

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